Sabaku no Hitomi

[ailani1274]

Name: Sabaku no Hitomi
Age: 12
Rank:Genin
Village: Suna

Appearance: Black eyes, waist length silver hair, sideswept bangs hanging just over her eyes, black ribbon tied at the end of her hair, 5 feet. Dark red v-neck with mesh over the exposed part of her chest. Black capris with 2 inch side vents and pockets. Her headband is tied around her waist. Standard issue ninja sandals. She wears a peculiar pendant around her neck. It looks like a glass orb full of red sand. The cord is black. She carries a huge sword with flowing spikes on one edge on her back, with a sash holding it in place. There are round holes in the blade, starting large at the middle, getting smaller towards the tip.

Personality: Hitomi is bipolar. Sometimes she is hyper and bouncing off the walls, other times she coops herself up in her room or on the roof to read or nap. She calls herself a prodigy, even though she just barely passed the graduation exam. She has the potential to be a great ninja, because she is rather smart, but she's very lazy.

Background: Hitomi was found outside Suna when she was a baby, with only her neclace. She was brought in, but soon after, one of the best jounin they had died under mysterious circumstances. The villagers believed that Hitomi was a bad omen, so they treated her like dirt. When she was 7, she met Gaara. Since she didn't have parents to tell her to hate him, Hitomi thought Gaara was a genius to be able to control sand. Soon after, Hitomi was added to Gaara's extremely short list of people he wouldn't kill. When they became ninja, Hitomi was the odd one out because the number of students graduating. So Hitomi became a part of team Sand sibs.

[Kaede]

Thanks for moving it, but I don't think you're finished...

[ailani1274]

How am I not finished?

[Kaede]

I'd reread the bottom of the Basic Rules... it's nothing big, but it's necessary.

But also, I noticed a few things that cannot be accepted.

#1: She cannot be a part of the Sand Siblings' team, because we must respect the known plot of Naruto. Plus, only three students and a sensei can be on a team, as stated in the series. No more.

#2: Connected to point one, she cannot be friends with Gaara. Physical appearances by canon characters are thus far prohibited.

#3: Your character sounds a bit like a Mary Sue and a cliche. Villagers hate her... they think she's a bad omen... sounds an awful lot like Gaara and Naruto's past...
Her personality also mirrors Shikamaru's. And doesn't she have any negative traits?

Sorry to bombard you like this, but I can't accept this without the changes. T_T

[ailani1274]

No problem.

[ailani1274]

I'll change her past, rank, village, whatever, but her appearance and personality will stay the same, seeing as her personality is basically describing mine, and her looks are already ingrained in my brain.

[ailani1274]

oh, wait, I can change her looks, and possibly her name... whatever you say!

[Ikara]

Plus Sabaku No Hitomi kind of conflicts with Sabaku no Gaara - Gaara of the desert waterfall. He was given that name because of Shukaku and his control over sand.

Plus, it is common Knowledge that Gaara had no friends as a child. After his uncle tried to kill him at 6, he began to hate everyone and would kill those who particularly annoyed him.

Sorry for being so fussy but the RP characters have to tie in with the story.

Take my character, Ikara. She has a crush on Gaara but it is because of something that happened after Gaara began to be more appreciative of human life.

And like Kaede said, canon characters can't appear. If they were friends, he'd surely have to appear at some point. A crush can be developed on someone you rarely see/never see. Look at most celebrity crushes!
I have a major thing for Kaoru from Dir en Grey; the chances of me meeting him are slim to none and the chances of it being reciprocated are even lower!

Again, sorry for being so critical

[ailani1274]

Okay! No prob, let me think for a bit. Hmm...

[ailani1274]

Name: Takiko Doragon
Age: 14
Rank: Missing Nin
Village: Mist
Appearance: Black hair, blue eyes, tan skin, 4'11", 135 lbs, freckles, hair is just below shoulder length and has blue hair clips holding back the bangs, wears a navy blue T-shirt with a baby blue long-sleeve shirt underneath. Her pants are black knee-length cargo pants and she wears her headband around her neck. Her sandals are like Inari's. She has multiple bracelets on both arms, and has a katana strapped to her back, with a belt strap holding it there. She has three black studs on each ear and a silver hoop on her left ear. She has a silver band on the index finger of her right hand.
Personality: She is very cocky, and tends to underestimate her opponents. Also has a tendency to braid her hair and unravel it if she's bored. When she talks, her voice cracks a lot and she says "Oh, my gosh!" a lot, and sometimes says "ne" or "hn" after her sentences. Burns herself a lot.
Backround: Grew up pretty normally, until she was four and her parents (who were ninja) didn't come back from a mission. She was sent to live with her closest relatives, an aunt and uncle. While she was there, her uncle (who was a blacksmith) taught her how to handle all kinds of weapons. When her aunt found out about the weapons (Takiko accidentally killed her aunt's wierd pet rat with a kunai) while she sent Takiko to the bay to fish with her uncle, the aunt left with everything except her husband's forge. The husband killed himself of grief and Takiko took as many weapons as she could carry, and set off on her own. She was eleven. One day when she saw a boy just walking by under the tree she happened to be sitting in, she leapt down and knocked him out. When she was going through his stuff, she found some lunch (Which she ate) and a Mist Village headband. She drew a kunai and slashed a line through the symbol and tied it around her neck. So began her days as a Missing nin.

[ailani1274]

Oh, and she laughs a whole lot. At the most unfunny things. Also, she gives advice a lot. And every piece of advice she gives makes everything worse. Really.

[Ikara]

im giving this its own thread, kay?

[ailani1274]

Okay!

[ailani1274]

Um, Where?